Sarah's Session Thirtysix

“…So really, I was born in Rhode Island and three neighboring states.”

“Bryan, is it ok if I just don’t roll the dice and assume everything is a 2?”
“Uh… a 2? Sure…”
“I figure I’ll come out ahead.”

“The Fisting of Pittaxe?”
“Nope. No fisting. Yamarino isn’t here.”

“Remember, remember, the Fisting of November?”

“He’s going to check to see if they’re redeemable first, but only for cash and prizes.”

“Yes, we have one of the fastidious party members with us.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t bring my formal wetsuit.”

“Think like an assassin…”
“You ARE the assassin.”

“‘You done fucked up. Also, the lake has a turtle problem.’”

“Oooh, it could also say, ‘Are you familiar with defenestration?’”
“’I’d like to speak with you about defenestration and defenestration accessories…’”

“Like fighting in cement.”
“…I’m glad you said ‘nt’…”

“This is the worst room I’ve ever been in!”
“So… sticky…”

“You know, that wasn’t really funny, but it was odd, and I have to share it so that everyone understands the trauma that made me who I am.”

“You’re customer of the month on the wall!”
“For two years running!”

“I don’t tip – I cure. I’m doing a community service.”

“He doesn’t fuck fair – he fucks foul. That’s why he’s so dirty.”

“Yeah, the stabby people are having to talk. Give us a little leeway.”

Fallen Star tavern – Gaspare Lasenza, influential noble

“That’s good. I mean, that’s a good grudge to have.”

“But as king of Speerspitze, I see every citizen as my children. And half of them are…”

“It had plate armor, but not a liver.”
“Well, this is why he died…”

“He is pretty mad…”
“Then I will refer to him henceforth as the Mad King Irrivetti.”

“Will you tell us about the trap? Before the king talks some more?”

“I kissed the picture.”
“Ugh. Do you know how unsanitary that is?”

“You like to eat rotted flesh? I like to eat rotted flesh!”

“I don’t understand. I wait in the antechamber and don’t touch the walls.”

“And most of all, I don’t lick the walls.”
“So you… Uh. Battered like beaten, not batter like batter…”

“As your king, I demand that you lick the wall!”
“No.”

“It will be written into Speerspitzan law, you must lick the wall!”

“As soon as they start talking about licking the walls, you’re gone.”

“It occurs to me, Bryan, that the reason he doesn’t ask her to lick the wall is that he actually wants to know how it tastes.”

“Is there hustle as well as bustle?”
“It only says bustle. I assume there is also hustle, however…”

Castle is “the House of 100 Doors” – like a maze

“Would that be one of the doors? So there would be 99 left? We can take it down and pass it around…”

“This is Feng, slayer of the inanimate.”

“Wait, an a-hole is going to appear? Irrivetti must be coming.”

“He said sanctum, not rectum.”
“Wrecked ’em? You just about killed him.”

Sarah's Session Thirtysix

Kingmaker, Speerspitze sandrayln2