Sarah's Session Thirtythree

“Oh, I heard you. It’s all these monkeys that I heard too.”

we defeat an iron golem
assortment of art and historic artifacts, not really worth much.

“…all about virgins, raisins, whatever…”

in fountains:
extremely nice hand axe
waterproof scroll case

“I agree! He is horse’s ass!”

“That’s right… because the coins don’t have his face.”

“Really? We’re going there?”
“Hey, if Janet Jackson can do it on national television…”

“Why do you keep running into my shield, Armag? Huh? Huh?”

“What language did he speak?”
“I don’t think even my linguist knows that. So he speaks Halibut.”

“Jason writes in Halibut.”

“Aww. You got the owlbear all excited.”

“It’s taser-paw!”

“It’s a 20 point Indian burn…”

“I will non-lethally bite his head off.”
“So, it’s a lick attack?”

“How many licks does it take to get to the center of an Armag the Twice-Born?”

“How much do you lick him for?”
“Uh… 22 points of licking.”
“Oh my god, that tongue is so rough!”

“Okay, you get to come over and take care of the holes YOU put into him.”

“I am a fucking badass when I’m using someone else’s fucking weapon…”

“You’re much better at being Armag than Armag was. You should think about adopting the job…”

Armag has a ton of stuff
minor artifact – Ovinrbaane

599 platinum
11378 gold
23617 silver
48810 copper
diamond worth 5000g
fire opal worth 1000g
3 garnets worth 500g each
electrum crown with blue star sapphire worth 2500g (Andros)
ruby-encrusted silver armband worth 1250g
malachite and gold necklace worth 900g

bag of holding I
belt of giant strength +2
horseshoes of speed
necklace of fireballs 2
pearl of power level 2
dose of restorative ointment
ring of counterspells
wand of heroism
+3 hide armor with +2 armor spikes
+3 heavy steel shield
+2 keen battleaxe
amulet of natural armor +2
belt of physical might +2
ring of protection +2
3 potions of cure serious wounds

“I don’t know if it’s worse that YOU said it, or that I thought it half a second before you did.”

“It’s a masterwork broken glass bottle.”

“If there’s an awkward moment, I dance to lighten the moment.”

“But I’m not handing them the sword like it’s yesterday’s jam.”

“Can I use Knowledge: Engineering to make the next building we build look way more expensive than it is?”

barbarians want Armag’s armor and sword back
we are making a fake sword for them instead of giving them the real one

Sarah's Session Thirtythree

Kingmaker, Speerspitze sandrayln2